BTO: A woman's guide to having it all

Business Times - 04 Apr 2009

FROM THE DESK OF
A woman's guide to having it all

Can a woman be a good mother, a good wife and a good manager at the same time? For young women just setting out on their career paths, here are some pointers worth considering

 

Melisa Quijano
President, Nu Skin Enterprises,
South East Asia

 

NOWADAYS, women don't have to act like men to be worthy of the boardroom. Many a time, women think that they need to act like men to be noticed. But this is not true. We can be in our shapely suits and our high heels and still be credible leaders.

 

For young women just setting out on their career paths today, there is really no secret to achieving great success. They just have to remember the good old advice of doing the very best you can each time, and taking people with you as you go up.

 

Getting to the top may not be for everyone, but you must learn to set for yourself how far you want to go. For those who want it all like I did, talk softly if you wish, just make sure you make sense and are firm with your decisions. Wear make-up, colour your hair; just make sure you're willing to dirty your hands when necessary. Management is more interested in what you think and what you can do.

 

A woman needs her inspiration. Find a good role model who is worth emulating. He or she can then provide the much needed guidance when you need it most. I was blessed to be surrounded and mentored by smart and experienced managers interested in my success. I learned a lot of my current management skills from my early mentors. Friendship did not get in the way of our work. We worked hard. We had a lot of accomplishments as a team and we celebrated those.

 

At times when we feel down, mentors can provide the guidance and direction we need. I had the opportunity to meet a lot of good quality leaders. Blake Roney, chairman of Nu Skin Enterprises, is my favourite. He is all about people. I met him at a time in my career when I had a lot of accomplishments and was still looking for something - a good reason as to why I should continue to trade my family time with work.

 

He was an inspiration to me. I found in him a role model willing, above all else, to teach and dedicate his time to seeing his people grow and progress.

 

I was at the point in my career when it was not about the money or status any more. His advice was that we should make every effort to impact others in a positive way. We are blessed to meet and work with literally thousands of people - some for a brief moment, many others for years. He advised us to make sure that these people become better persons because they see something good in who we are and in what we do. This is good business advice because in our business, the more good things we do, the more successful we become financially and otherwise.

 

No path to success is strewn with roses. I had my share of bad bosses. But I learned that there's something to learn from every boss, even a bad one. I learned what not to do when faced with the same circumstances. I also learned to stand for myself and in what I believe in.

 

Letting people go was another challenge I faced. It was not because they were bad people or bad employees but because of business needs. I tried to be compassionate on the few occasions that I had to release staff, and helped them to move on.

 

People are amazed that a woman can be a good mother, a good wife and a good manager at the same time. Indeed, it is not easy for a woman to work as well as manage her family, and this is where support from husband and children is most needed. Every chance I get, I assure my children of my unconditional love for them and my willingness to give up anything for them if needed. They feel secure that way even if I am not physically around. They know that on several occasions, I have bypassed or deferred career opportunities because I felt that my ability to be a good mother would be compromised if I took them.

 

My husband is a great friend and confidante. He and I have encouraged our children to be independent and we always make ourselves available when our children need us. Both my children are today a lot older than when I was starting out on my career. They are at a stage now when they need our presence less. Today's wonders in communications help me to be 'present' in my children's lives. Their choice mode of communication is the chat room so I am there often, and the mobile phone.

 

Work aside, women should also pay attention to their intellectual and emotional needs. Both need nourishment for a woman to derive true happiness in work and family.

 

For myself, I find great value in serving the community. It provides the soul to my life behind the work that I do. In Thailand, I was a committee member of the Thai Direct Selling Association and continue to be an Honorary Board Member of the Pediatric Cardiac Surgery Foundation, part of a regional community project to help needy children born with congenital heart diseases.

 

It has been more than 28 years ago since I graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management and went on to head the marketing operations of Tupperware, Sara Lee Direct Selling Asia, and Warner Lambert Pharmaceutical Inc before ending up in Nu Skin Enterprises.

 

One of the things I realise is that women do not know when to stop pushing themselves. Realising one's limitations is key in knowing how far you can go.

 

Work on your strengths. Review your success and failures from time to time and take stock. Yes, much as you can have it all, knowing what you want and do not want is essential so that you do not become disillusioned with what you cannot possibly attain.

 

So continue to enjoy being a woman. Dream big and grab those opportunities. Being yourself is key. What matters is the mind behind the woman.